He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
