when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize