White coat. Heels.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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