It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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