You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize