I seem to have left my pride at pride
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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