i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
