Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
