I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
