Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
