Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
