i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
