WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
