you would pick up someone in the library
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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