if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize