i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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