Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
