I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The adults are the big ones right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
