I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
