So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
