It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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