well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
