but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
