Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
