New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize