but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
