yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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