My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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