Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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