Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
