Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
