we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
