i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
