So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
