dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
