he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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