i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
