I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Operation Purity has been aborted
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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