I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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