don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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