problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
