were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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