I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
