I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
