Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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