Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
