was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
