And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
