I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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