Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is it because I queefed?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize