oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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