I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
