I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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