South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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