Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize