Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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