I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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