At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
