dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
