So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
