He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize